Dear Men, See The Things You Should Do For Your Woman

Since last weekend when I posted a piece written by a woman about how ladies of today can win their man's heart, there has been reactions, particularly from Bimbola and my own wife. The guys are obviously happy with the write up but the ladies say I should also tell men how to love their woman too.

That request has been granted. Guys, below is how to love your woman and make her happy...

The hard and cold truth of marriage is that staying together can be tough at times for almost any couple. To ensure that one's marriage lasts "as long as we both shall live" as opposed to the increasingly popular "as long as we both shall love”, couples should undertake daily connection rituals.

Guys, you win at marriage when you win your wife’s heart. Once your wife knows she is the focus of your life, she will return your love and build a better relationship by your side. As men are different from women biologically, so also are they different emotionally and psychologically. Men are analytical beings while Women are emotional beings. 

Step 1: Make Marriage Your Job
Surprisingly, men who can masterfully deal with conflict at work say they just do not know how to handle marital problems, and they tune out and give up. Why not start thinking about your marriage the same way you think of your job. It’s easier than you think. You will feel more adept at managing marital problems if you use your work skills: long-range planning, active listening, and considering all options before action. And, just like your job, your marriage has many rewards: from personal fulfillment, to a longer, healthier and more financially secure future, to a better sex life. (Yes, studies show that the average married man has more satisfying sex than his unmarried peers.)

Step 2: Know Your Wife
If something works for me, it must work for my wife, right? Wrong. It is likely that your wife and you see practically everything differently. Here is where your job skills come in handy. To understand the way to your wife’s heart, you must first learn what makes her tick. A bouquet of flowers may not mean much to you, so it may seem like a colossal waste of money to send them. But that is not the way your wife sees it. To you, working late might be your way of saying: “I love you and will take care of you.” To her, it might mean you do not care about the relationship. If you learn how she views the world, and learn to see things through her eyes, you will understand what actions you must take to affect her in a positive way.

Step 3: Be Home For Her
Most marriages that dissolve begin to unravel in the very first year. Do not underestimate the importance of spending time at home with your wife. Time together is proof that you care. You may have thought the wedding ring was enough evidence of your commitment. But for her, the vows are only a start; she wants you to prove your love for her every day. To do this, you must give up your bachelor identity. You may want to ‘hang-out’ with the boys on Saturdays and Sundays or regularly attend happy hour; If that is what you choose to do, do not be surprised if you arrive home to find a fuming wife.

Step 4: Expect Conflict and Learn to Deal with It
Most people assume that if there is conflict in a marriage, there must be something wrong. The reality is, conflict is part of marriage. If we always agreed with our spouses on everything, imagine how boring life would be. Disagreements happen even in the best of marriages. There are good ways to fight and bad ways to fight. Those who maintain relationships learn to go into the argument slowly; they avoid accusations such as: “How dare you say that?” and instead share their own experience: “I was really upset when you made that comment.” Don’t panic when you clash. It’s OK to disagree. But the wife MUST be respectful to her husband and things will end well at all times.

Step 5: Learn to Listen To Her
Men, you have to learn the basics. When she wants to talk, sit quietly without distractions. When she talks, take a few moments and reflect back on what she has said. I realize you know exactly what she is saying or trying to say within the first five seconds, but it does not matter; Let your wife talk, and let her know you are listening. Before offering suggestions to the problems or her concerns, ask her whether she wants advice or whether she just wants you to listen. You would be surprised how appreciative she will be that you are just a good ear.

Step 6: Aim to Please Her
Funny, isn’t it, that most people treat strangers better than they do their loved ones. You know that if you treat someone well, they will think more highly of you and treat you better in return. Now apply that principle to your wife. Do something sweet or thoughtful for her; it shows that you have her on your mind constantly.

Try to determine what she needs, and ask yourself: Is there some way I can make this happen for her? Being a happily married husband means regularly and consistently demonstrating your love for your wife.

Step 7: Learn the Truth about Sex

Sex is not the overriding factor in either marital happiness or marital distress. And while in most cases women want a romantic experience and men want sex, there are many steps to take to make both parties happy. You will have to start by understanding her and aiming to please. But do not stop there. It’s O.K. to ask (not demand) for what you need sexually. You should be proud of your sexual desires, not feel like they are something to be suppressed. Importantly, learn to satisfy your wife; know her sexual points, be innovative behind closed doors and bring out the sensual woman in her.

Step 8: Re-Introduce Yourself
Are you the kind of guy your wife would want to know? If you derailing in any area of your relationship, clean up your act before you ask to have your needs met. Help your wife learn who you are, what makes you tick, and how she can make you happy. Lovingly help her to see the world through your eyes. You won’t end up convincing her you’re right, but you can help her to learn from you and grow with you.

Step 9: Tell Her How Great She Is

Women loved to be told how great they look, sounds like a smart place to start. Remind her of how beautiful you think she is, how pretty her eyes are, or you love her new hairstyle. Remember, keep it simple and to the point, that is what they want to hear.

Step 10: Love Your wife
Men are usually quite unaware of how much women need to be loved. When they are not loved the way they want, they feel insecure and lose their sense of self. That is why it is so vital for you to take special care of your partner’s need for love.

The woman should respect her man dearly without reservation because if your man doesn't feel respected, he wont find it easy to love you.

For the man, there are a number of ways to show love to your wife. To begin with, do not try to change her, but accept her needs, wishes and rights. Loving your wife also mean including her in decisions. It is always interesting when you find a husband who wields all the power in a marriage and still show his wife genuine love.

Build your wife’s sense of security by asking for her input whenever you can, even on the small things. When you make a decision that might affect her, say: “I’m thinking about..., What do you think of that?” or “I’m thinking we should. What would you like?”

Rather say, “I support you, you are valuable to me, all you need do is show me love and respect. I am your man and I will always be. 

With these, a woman must avoid acts to make her compete with her man. Let LOVE flow in your home!